Desires

Lisa sits on the edge of the bed, her shoulders aching but feeling much better than yesterday and due to the mild pain relievers she had been given she can hold her thin arms in front of herself now without crying. Her pale hand slips slowly up to her breast gently massaging it as she notices the perfect dome shape it had been forced to take. She plays with the nipple that had not been touched in such a long time she had almost forgotten the pleasure she used to get from it. Her other hand slides towards her crotch feeling the latex of the panty/girdle she has been squeezed into to help her body cope with the sudden release of pressure and to aid with its added support. Lisa grunts weakly through her mouth that is hanging open because the muscles have been stretched for so long she cannot close it without severe pain.

Lisa cannot bend her neck to look down as she feels the pain of putting her foot on the floor, it is still too stiff from its long confinement to allow her to turn or bend it yet. Her feet scream with pain as she tries to straighten them out, stretching the muscles that have been held in the en-point position since the beginning. Lisa finds the steep high heeled shoes that have been left for her and slips each foot into one. The shoes help with the pain as she forces herself to stand and takes the first unimpeded steps towards the window. Lisa looks out the window at the snow on the ground surprised at how bright everything is and how much she had really missed seeing the sun. She stares for an hour as her legs and body start to shake making her turn towards the bed she has been lying in for the past three days. Lisa doesn’t want to lie down, she knows she will fall asleep again delaying the decision she has to make. The decision will be life changing for her and she wants to be sure she makes the correct choice since both options are permanent. The thick neoprene suit is laying on the bed, it’s designed to help with her bodies need for support and her mental need for compression so she sits down and slowly works her toned legs into the rubber.

Lisa struggles with the suit for almost an hour using all her strength to get her body in it having none left to close the heavy zipper and lies back grunting again. She lays staring at the ceiling thinking about the last three hundred and sixty five days wondering if she would ever want to repeat them and wondering if she could ever live without repeating them. Lisa smiled as she dreamed about how it all started and how wonderful it felt to have her body caressed while she was bound helplessly and how the feeling inside her pushed her into asking for it to increase.

It was her begging to be left bound for hours then overnight then for days that led her to be bound for so long by her own pleading and bargaining. She did miss being touched, even when she was bound in painful positions next to him in their bed he would keep his arm or hand lying on her letting her know he was there to protect her while she struggled through the pain or for air. Lisa needed more and begged for everything she received until the last plea was one of total commitment and total isolation from being treated as a human. She begged to be treated as property, an item to be used as needed and left ignored when not, it had been her plan from the beginning and now she had to choose what would be her next step.

As Lisa lay thinking she longed for the safe feelings she had during her ordeal. Lisa had felt warm and safe, she had no commitments or choices to make just do what was required of the object she had become and be quiet when she wasn’t required. It was so simple for her to give up her humanity and her freedom. Now she had to choose between another year of chastised servitude requiring her to stay bound and gagged or to return to her life of constant struggle just to survive. Lisa rolled onto her stomach pushing her arms behind her back and rolled over on them dreaming of them being held behind her, crushed together again.

As she lay dreaming she heard the door open and saw him standing there with a smile on his face. He asked “Need some help closing the suit?” Lisa still could not bring herself to answer audibly instead moving into the required position to allow him to close the heavy zipper. Lisa thought about trying to speak but the years worth of training wouldn’t allow it. As the pressure on her body increased by the zipper closing she moaned slightly as it made her body feel like she was being hugged all over.

Lisa’s mind drifted back to one of her training days remembering how it felt to be zipped up in thick rubber before being forced outside still blindfolded and bound. The rubber had kept her from feeling the temperature around her but she thought it felt like she was kicking snow as she pranced around the pole in the yard. She could feel the stinging whip on her rubber covered ass each time she passed where he sat providing her with more “motivation” to continue. Just like every training day before she started to actually feel a change in her bodies temperature either hot or cold she was quickly guided inside.

Lisa knew it was the thermometer in her suit showing him when she was getting hot or cold making him drive her inside. Lisa had no idea when she included it along with her other devices in the restraints how effective they would be. The sensors along with being isolated by her restraints making her completely incapable of telling how many days had passed or allowing any sensations in.

 Lisa smiled when she thought about how little she remembered ever thinking about the sensations of hot or cold, light or dark or being able to feel the world around her. During the first few weeks she had found out how much there was to miss and had desperately wanted to stop the whole situation. Lisa struggled and tried making noises that reflected her feelings but she had made herself very clear in her agreement that she was not to be released for any reason other than if a medical necessity arose and made him swear he would stick to it. Giving up all hopes of being released Lisa tried to escape her bounds, then her home, failing both utterly. Finally accepting she was where she was because it was what she had wanted. After that decision she had learned to love her bonds and the training and strived to do it as well as it could be done. 

Lisa scanned the room with her eyes seeing the armsleeve she designed hanging nearby and remembers how it had been made. When Lisa had thought it up she knew it would need to be lined to protect her and it from trapped fluids so she had made it in three layers. The first being made from neoprene the second from thick leather and the third made from hardened leather. Each layer was sewn together with individual lacing. The neoprene would be laced closed keeping constant pressure on her arms as the thick rubber tried to return to its normal size. The second layer would be relaced over time crushing her arms tighter each time. The outer layer of hardened leather kept her hands smashed palm to palm making her hands and fingers completely useless and holding her welded together arms rigidly behind her and looked very smooth and shiny.

Lisa smiled as she remembered being laced into it the first time relishing the feeling of her arms being pulled towards each other as her shoulders stretched backwards to accommodate the new position. Lisa recalled the first time her finger tips were unzipped, the only time during the entire ordeal she could feel her hands. She remembered how strange it felt to have her fingernails trimmed while she remained bound and gagged. The chastity corset had been her design also inspired by a picture she had seen on line and built similar to the armsleeve with the outer layer being much thicker and almost rock hard. With the hardened leather combined with the flat metal stays built into the corset she could not move her body from the top of the tall collar to her hips.

The collar was built to hold her head perfectly motionless running from below her ears to the tip of her chin forcing her head to lean back allowing her to accept the tortuous gag she had also helped design. The collar was part of the corset making her upper body completely rigid, the breast cups had been made smaller than her own breasts smashing them into the domed shaped cups she had created specifically to keep her breasts motionless and uncomfortable. Her breasts had stayed in the shape they had been held into for so long becoming very sensitive and having a dense feeling to each. The plugs forced deep inside her were used to evacuate her body had been made from an extremely soft type of silicone guaranteeing she would never be able to use them as stimulation. All her designs had worked extremely well and for the whole time she had never been able to get more than aroused while she was incarcerated.

Lisa thought about the gag as she stroked her gapping mouth, she had designed it to hold her mouth open as far as it could be. She had also not wanted her jaw muscles to get accustomed or “comfortable” with it so she had found a way to keep it constantly stretching her mouth wider. The first part of the gag was a thick metal ring inside a heavy rubber bladder that had been formed to the shape of the inside of her mouth. The ring and rubber would be filled with a hardening silicone inflating the bladder each time more silicone was added and making it even more difficult to remove. Lisa had felt her mouth getting stretched four separate times each more painful than the previous time and each time the pain made her fight it more. The center of the gag popped into position by pushing the thick rubber phallus past the ridge essentially locking it deep in her mouth and throat silencing her completely. Lisa had wanted the most severe gag she could manage and was glad she had been given a muscle relaxer mixture making her sleep deeply before he had removed it.

The last item she had helped design had been her shoes, Lisa’s love of extreme high heels had led her to wear ballet boots and shoes regularly so it had seemed natural to be forced to wear the same for the entire time. The knee high boots had been built just like the corset and arm sleeve except for the sand paper like substance she had added under some dense foam in the tip of the boots. This would, in theory, keep her toenails under control causing them to work through the foam and into the grinding material rubbing them against it and keeping them at a reasonable length. He had removed her boots twice during the first few months to check and apparently had been quite pleased with the effectiveness on the trimming system she had come up with since the boots were never removed again. The thick hard leather took some adjusting for her to learn to walk in them but she quickly adapted and now felt like she would never be able to, or want to, wear anything but the tall boots again. Standing in the tight neoprene catsuit Lisa ran her hands over her thin body as she thought about what deciding to continue with her training would mean.

The new suit she had designed would be even more effective at restraining her while it compressed her body more than previously and would most likely leave her will to be a person completely broken. The thought of her being totally subservient excited her, being totally without any recollection of her previous life only what she was or had become, an object. Lisa had fought this feeling several times during the last year even giving in a few times living only to be used for his amusement or as a face fuck toy. Each time she fought her way back and each time swearing that when she was freed she would never again let it happen to her.

As her time was coming to an end Lisa not knowing how much longer she had to go as his toy and feeling like it had been much longer knew he had decided to never release her finally accepted her fate. Lisa had given up any hope of ever being released deciding she was where she wanted to be and what she should be, she had fallen in love with the safe warm feeling of being contained and controlled. Lisa sat down in the desk chair and looked at the new agreement laid out for her. The agreement was the same as before but had no defined time to be released meaning she would stay as a bound slave indefinitely.

Lisa scanned the agreement, remembering writing it and the details she had added about her training, storage and punishments. The new suit had more tens pads and was made to have to be cut off her to be removed covering her entire body in the hard leather. Only part of her thighs and a pony tail of her red hair would remain uncovered. The hood she would be wearing was made into the corset as was the new arm sleeve. The hood had the same type of gag and would permanently cover her entire head sealing her in darkness and allowing her to only hear what he allowed through the small ear phones that would be trapped under the tight leather.

Even the shoulders of the new suit were designed to compress her further making her more helpless by covering her shoulders with the hard leather drawing them inwards making any movement of her compressed and trapped arms impossible. The new suit also had legs extending down to just above her knees leaving the skin between the tops of the boots just below her knees to the legs of the suit above her knees as the only neoprene left exposed. To compensate for the lack of skin to whip and torment her with the suit had a multitude of tens pads with just as many long strips that had been tested to make it feel like she was being whipped and could be used not only as punishment but to tease and torture her with tickling and itching sensations.

Lisa sat smiling at the thoughts as she remembered testing all the different ways the tens units could be used while she and her tormentor made notes. Now she was considering letting him control her whole life and using the things she had created to torture her again this time possibly forever. Lisa looked at the stack of DVD’s, the recordings of her year in captivity he had been showing her during her recuperation. She had watched hours of them relishing each minute of her other self being used and manipulated while he watched sometimes laughing at her torture and others enjoying her helplessness while he used her gapping mouth to satisfy his urges while she was denied any sexual stimulation.

Lisa started the DVD player turning her body to watch the “compilation” disk he had made for her of the most memorable times he had during her year as his toy. After watching the thing on the screen get trained and teased for an hour Lisa turned back to the desk with her shaking hand quickly scribbled her name at the bottom of the agreement sealing her fate to stay his toy/slave until he releases her or she dies. Lisa is suddenly relieved knowing she will soon be sealed back in her warm cocoon of peace and quiet leaving her to only strive to serve him.

Three days later Lisa has been encased by the hardened leather and now she felt the leather being tightened for the last time. The smell of the epoxy she had chosen to use to seal the leather flaps covering the laces making it necessary to cut the suit from her penetrated her nose. The tubes he had inserted into her nostrils making sure she would not ever have a clogged nose letting the strong odor tell her she was now permanently encased in the hardened leather. The hood had been the most difficult part to get used to since it squeezed her entire head keeping her eyes closed and her mouth forced open. The only other difficulty she had adjusting to was the ankle shackles he had added keeping her feet within a few inches of each other. These had not been in her original plan and combined with the leather on her legs made walking much more difficult.

Unbeknownst to her the shackles were wide circles of steel connected by a short rod with flexible joints on each end and had been riveted on making them as permanent as the rest of her outfit. Lisa was left strapped into the wooden box he had made for her to keep her tucked away when he wasn’t using his toy and when he was entertaining new girlfriends, this was something else she didn’t know and now she never would. Lisa stood motionless, her mind drifting between her choices of continuing her servitude and trying to struggle for freedom inside her leather prison still uncertain she made the correct decision but now helpless to change it.