The Party

The race was on to find Steve. They had put him somewhere and forgotten where they put him. They had to find him before something terrible happened to him! Everyone was driving flat out in their cars to find him.

The party started well enough, like all parties. Music lots of drinks and food and plenty of dancing going on.

Everyone was happy. They had always had a pleasant evening at these parties. They each took it in turn to hold the parties. This time it was Steve Collins turn to hold the party. He had always been good for a laugh. So had everybody else. He loved fancy dress parties. His favourite was the vicars and tarts and the schooldays themes.

But they had run out of ideas and the parties always seemed to finish up as “normal”. They had done the bondage theme. He had done the striptease show starting out dressed as a girl. But now they needed to find something different.

They had a month until the next party at the end of April. Four weeks to come up with ideas. The month soon went by and he went along to the next party with the usual cans of beer and a bottle of strong vodka.

The party stared as usual. “Any ideas anybody? A bottle of Schnapps to the person who thinks of a new idea” 

“What about everyone putting their names into a hat and whoever we pick we wrap up like a mummy!” 

“That sounds a good idea!” 

“What about putting that person in a box, just below ground level and coming back and having a wake for them?” 

“Brilliant!” Everyone agreed to it. Everybody’s names went into the hat and Steve’s name came out. He was going to be mummified. Not at this party, but at the next one at the end of May. That gave them time to organise everything.

The day of the party came and Steve was stripped down to his boxer shorts. They started by wrapping him up from his toes. A sheet was cut into a foot wide strips and wrapped tightly around his legs. The next part of the sheet saw him wrapped up to his armpits.

Now they started on his legs with another sheet. But they wound them the other way from the first lot so they crossed them. This time the strips were pulled tighter. He was told to put his arms by his side and they wrapped them up with his chest. Now the strips were cut into thinner strips and his shoulders were wrapped up. They wrapped around his head so only his eyes were seen. He did not like breathing through the cotton sheet over his nose. The bandage over his mouth was pulled down and he had a plastic tube put into his mouth. He gripped it tight with his teeth and closed his lips on it. Strips of duct tape were used to hold his lips around the tube. Now the bandages were put back. Another lot went around that so the bandages held the tape on tight. Another lot of bandages were wrapped around that holding his jaw firmly shut on the tube. A fourth and final lot of bandages were wrapped around his head and all you could see were his eyes and the tube sticking out. More layers of bandages were wrapped tighter around his body. He could not move now. Only wriggle.

He was lifted up and taken into the other room. He glimpsed a coffin on trestles standing in the middle of the room. He was gently laid in it and left while they others went on with the party. “This is not supposed to happen. They could have let me had my drinks and enjoy the party at least!” he thought. 

An hour later and the other guests filed back into the room. They lifted the lid of the coffin up and showed Steve the breathing tube they had glued through the lid. It was bent over so the rain did not enter. It had a two way valve. Fresh air went in through the centre pipe of this tube and the stale air came out through the outside of the pipe and the tube. He saw a black cotton sock stuck over the end of the tube to stop insects from crawling in and the lid was lifted up and placed over his body. He watched as it slowly descended and the tube through the lid was engaged with the tube in his mouth. They fitted perfectly. Whoever had done this knew what they were doing. The lid was finally lowered and all went black for Steve.

He panicked for a second, but got over it and started to breath through the tube. He was asked if it was okay. “Kick once for okay and twice for get me out of here!” Steve kicked the lid of the coffin once.

The guests screwed the lid down with the brass clasps. Steve was surprised at the amount of noise they made. But he felt himself being picked up and carried. The noise as the coffin scraped along the floor of something was enough to wake the dead.

All the guests jumped into the back of the van with their drinks. He heard the spades being thrown in and the doors being slammed shut. Only the driver was at the front. Everybody wanted to be with the coffin. It got Steve that they were using him as a table for their drinks.

The van twisted and turned for some time and then stopped. The guests jumped out. They had no idea where they were. Only the driver did. They quickly removed the turf and dig a hole 18 inches deep. Steve felt the coffin being dragged out of the van and being lifted. He hated the noise of the coffin as it was dragged along the floor of whatever it was. He did not know. He presumed it was a van.

He felt the coffin being lowered down. It did not go far before it stopped. Then he was lifted out again. “Someone should have measured the coffin. Another 6 inches out of the hole. Quickly now, before someone comes along!” Soon he felt himself being picked up again and being lowered. This time he heard the soil being tossed on top of the coffin.

The group put the turf back over the grave and arranged the grass round the breathing tube. “Ashes to ashes, dust to dust and all that! Well we have given Steve a great send off, back to the party!” They picked up the spades and drinks bottles and jumped into the back of the van. Everyone was in the back except the driver. It took them an hour to reach the house.

“Come on, let’s celebrate Steve’s life!” The party heated up and everyone enjoyed themselves. But they were soon blind drunk and crashed out where they were.

The next day they all woke up with a hangover. Everyone looked at each other. “Where’s Steve?” 

“Crikey, we buried him somewhere! Anyone know where we put him?” 

Everybody said they were in the back of the van except the driver. “I can’t remember. I was drunk and just drove around!” 

“Come on man, you must remember where you took us!” 

“Sorry I have no idea, why is it important?” 

“Steve is buried there!” 

“All I can remember is it was a park, but where and what side of the park it was on I do not know!”

A map was brought out! “You must be able to find it from this!” 

“I tell you I honestly do not know. I was blind drunk at the time like the rest of you!” 

“Everyone into your cars. Take a spade and look for a grave” It did not take long for the cars to be hitting the road. One car got stopped and the policeman asked “Going to a funeral are we?” “Yes officer! Actually I am!” “Well this is a warning this time. Next time you will get penalised. It may be your funeral you are going to!” The car sped off again.

Steve could hear people walking not far away from him. He was enjoying this being mummified and buried alive. All these people walking by not realising there was a person buried alive just a few feet away waiting for death to come. “After all the group will come and get me soon” he thought.

The cars were racing along looking for every park they could find. They had found lots of little ones not shown on the map. They had to find Steve before something serious happened to him.

10.05.06